


Another Chatfic

by scrapmetal



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Multi, NOT modern day au, Nonbinary Alphonse Elric, Nonbinary Lan Fan, Trans Edward Elric, Transphobia mention, chatfic, it's not that bad dw, just in case, lol, oh right i gotta tag, op is trans, they just have phones okay, trans ling yao, uhh what else is in here. idk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-03-29 18:32:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19025548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrapmetal/pseuds/scrapmetal
Summary: may change the title later i just feel like im contributing to the problem *honks my clown nose*It's the regular story you know and love except no one is cishet and they all have phones and a discord server. Darn teens these days.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i have like 3 chapters done uh. hm. dunno when im going to post them all. anyways. sorry if the custom emojis are a bit small

**> @The 12th One just appeared. Equivalency…?**

 

**asshole** : ?????

 

**The 12th One** : hi

 

**asshole** : winry is this ur gf??

 

**stop changing my name** : no she still hasn't gotten a discord. no idea who this is. 

 

**asshole** :    


**asshole** : HEY  **@The 12th One** WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU???

 

**The 12th One** : ling yao

 

**asshole** : who 

 

**The 12h One** : aw you don’t remember??? you bought me lunch today i thought we had smthn 

 

**asshole** :  tf r u doing here hello??

**asshole** : also wtf why do you have custom emojis edited to look like you???

 

**The 12th One** : your brother invited me lol. also i gotta milk my nitro somehow.

 

**asshole** : AL??

**asshole** : HEY AL. WTF. 

**asshole** : AL GET TF ONLINE OR IM GOING TO BEAT UR ASS

**asshole** :  **@current braincell holder @current braincell holder @current braincell holder**

 

**current braincell holder** : bro im literally 2 feet away from u why r u @ing me

 

**asshole** : online problems require online solutions. anyways ur not much better it's not like u responded irl.

 

**The 12th One** : really living up to your nickname lol

 

**asshole** : could you shut up pls?

**asshole** : if ur just going to bully me about my nickname i'll change it damn

**fullmetal** : also you have literally no room to talk what does ur username even MEAN

 

**current braincell holder** : i didn't respond irl bc u wouldn't've listened. if u want to know why i invited ling talk to me like a normal person. or dm me. 

 

**The 12th One** : didn't i tell you? im the 12th prince of xing

 

**fullmetal** : that's really dumb wow

**fullmetal** : also al i hate you

 

**The 12th One** : alright ill admit it isn't great but it's funny in the family gc. no one talks in it bc we all hate each other but its funny there i swear

**ling** : anyways ill just make it my name bc you seem to forget it

 

**stop changing my name** : ooh okay its just ling

**stop changing my name** : as long as you don't break ed’s automail again idc if ur in here

 

**ling** : no promises! :3c

 

**stop changing my name** : close enough

**winry** : also since it seems like this server will be more than just the resembool squad from now on ive finally gotten rid of the nickname. you two still aren't allowed to change it tho. 

 

**fullmetal** : wow ok normie

**fullmetal** : also why the fuck am i the only one freaking out about the weird ass prince joining hello?? we JUST met him today and he attacked me. 

**fullmetal** : OH AND ALSO HE’S LOOKING FOR THE PHILOSOPHERS STONE LIKE HELLO??? 

 

**current braincell holder** : i just think he's neat

 

**fullmetal** : you do not deserve that nickname. 

 

**ling** : thanks alphonse    


**ling** : anyways im going to invite my bodyguard now

 

**fullmetal** : oh of  _ course _ you are

**fullmetal** : whatever. if the server’s goin out it might as well go out with a bang

 

**> Boo! @lan fan just joined. Spooky!**

 

**ling** : lan fan!    


 

**lan fan** : don't expect me to talk in here much, ling just likes to invite me into every single server he's in

 

**ling** : you should talk i like you :(

 

**lan fan** : just @ me if you need me

 

**ling** : … fine

 

**fullmetal** : well that was underwhelming

**fullmetal** : is she ur gf or smthn

 

**ling** : LOL

**ling** : no way im gay af

**ling** : also they're a lesbian

**ling** : we were just like… afab (assigned friends at birth) by the clan

 

**fullmetal** : oh shit sry abt the pronouns

 

**ling** : OH no it's fine she prefers a mix of she n they, in xingese she uses a neopronoun w/ the feminine one and so it translated fairly nicely.

**ling** : if they had their way she’d have you flip a coin every time you used a pronoun for them

 

**lan fan** : unfortunately that's not how language works

**lan fan** : yet

 

**fullmetal** : that's not ominous at all

 

**winry** : lan fan if it turned out you were cishet i would've cried 

 

**lan fan** : i think i would too.

 

**current braincell holder** : knew this was a good idea. my gaydar is impeccable today. 

**current braincell holder** : al: one ed: zero

 

**fullmetal** : shut up

**fullmetal** : anyways. ling, you may be an idiot asshole and i may hate you, but at least you aren't straight. 

 

**ling** :    


 

**fullmetal** : oh my god you're unbearable.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter... 2!  
> [insert peggle 2 discord bot]

**-August 18th, 1914 at 9:13 AM-**

 

**winry** :

guess who got a discord acct!!

 

**fullmetal** : ??? ur using ur discord rn

 

**winry** : paninya. it’s paninya. dumbass

 

**fullmetal** : oh

 

**> @the slap of my asscheeks came to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and they're all outta bubblegum. **

 

**fullmetal** : excuse me what the FUCK is that username

 

**the slap of my asscheeks** : what discord gets for letting me put whatever the fuck i wanted there lol. also a good way to make the entry message better

**the slap of my asscheeks** : idk might change it now that that's over tho

 

**fullmetal** : you should change it to uhhhh frying pan

 

**the slap of my asscheeks** : nvm it's staying that's literally the worst idea i've heard

**the slap of my asscheeks** : sounds like a “im pan which means im attracted to pans” joke in username form

 

**fullmetal** : rude

**fullmetal** : that doesn't even make sense it's nothing like that

**fullmetal** : well. since ur new to discord you may not know this

**fullmetal** : but as an owner of this server i can change your nickname in here to whatever the fuck i want

 

**frying pan** : is that rly a feature or are you fucking w me

**frying pan** : oh fuck you

 

**winry** : ed stop bullying my girlfriend

 

**frying pan** : yeah stop

 

**fullmetal** : :/ no

**fullmetal** : anyways gm

 

**ling** : morning! 

 

**fullmetal** : nvm gn

 

**ling** : what did i ever do to hurt you

 

**fullmetal** : attack me???

 

**current braincell holder** : a lot of people attack you ed, doesn't rly make him special.

 

**ling** : yeah my charm and good looks do that for me

 

**fullmetal** : no one here appreciates me

 

**current braincell holder** : 

**current braincell holder** : anyways. our train’s coming soon we should probably get off discord and Move.

 

**fullmetal** : mmhshksdmhmdsh fine.

 

**frying pan** : bye nerds

**frying pan** : also bye winry 

 

**winry** : bye!!! i’ll be back soon i promise… love u. 

 

**ling** :   
**ling** :  central time

 

**fullmetal** : how the fuck did you get a ticket you couldn’t even buy lunch yesterday

 

**ling** : who said i need a ticket?

 

**fullmetal** : …

**fullmetal** : you do realize i have the authority to arrest you right

 

**ling** : so you’re a pig now? huh? oink oink

 

**fullmetal** : shut UP i’m just SAYING. i’m not actually going to arrest anyone for sneaking on a train i’m just saying its a bad idea.

 

**ling** : i say trains should be free

 

**fullmetal** : aren’t you a prince. aren’t you trying to be the emperor of xing. literally shut up

 

**ling** : 

 

**current braincell holder** : ed get the FUCK off ur going to run into a wall if u keep this up. also ling i know you’re following us so maybe you should also get off ur phone before you fall off a roof.

 

**fullmetal** : u say that as if you haven’t been trying to steal my phone for the last 5 minutes but Fine. i’ll get Off.

 

**ling** : alphonse i’ll have you know that my skills in roof hopping are amazing even when im using my phone.

 

**current braincell holder** : OFF

 

**ling** : 

 

* * *

 

**@Winry, @Edward**

**-August 18th, 1914 at 2:35-**

 

**Edward** : ...you were going to the huges’s right?

 

**Winry** : oh yeah. i know already.

 

**Edward** : u need directions to the hotel?

 

**Winry** : yeah, ill b with gracia and elicia for a bit b4 heading over.

 

**Edward** : ??? didn't they leave with maes too?

 

**Winry** : wym im with them rn

**Winry** : wait what do you think happened to maes

**Winry** : ed???

 

**Edward** : update: roy mustang is a horrible fucking person. god.

 

**Winry** : what happened??

 

**Edward** : well! remember when i was being all confusing? thats bc he told me n al that hughes fucjing retired abd movrf to the fucking countryside w his family as if we wouldn't ever igure out thr trught. im SO fucking mad.

 

**Winry** : hey quick question what the fuck??? what the fuck was he thinking?? does he think ur four years old?? actually no. scratch that. elicia went to the fucking funeral does he think ur a fucking infant??? what the fuck!!

 

**Edward** : YEAH. god im. this is too much. we’ll meet u at their house ok?

 

**Winry** : is al alright?

 

**Edward** : relatively

 

**Winry** : ill take that. see u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry to end it on a sad note but that's fma baybee!!  
> also im not going to do any fancy heart emojis in this bc getting the emojis is hard. i amn a tired kid.

**Author's Note:**

> i'll probably end up posting the lingmojis:tm: on tumblr at some point... i'll link them on here when i do. for now they're fic exclusive i'm afraid.


End file.
